Since the horrors of October 7 2023 and the ensuing devastating war, we have all experienced the full gamut of human emotions. There has been shock, rage and despair, as well as the brief moments of hope and jubilation, such as when we have seen hostages reunited with their families. We have often been bitterly reminded of the truism that there are no winners in war.

Among the collective rollercoaster of emotions, the depths of sorrow experienced over the past fortnight have stood out. As Israelis lined the streets to offer support to the Bibas family there was a sense of unity in their expressions of grief and trauma. So too, has there been such sentiments in Argentina which has declared two official days of mourning. this tragedy has also been felt deeply around the Jewish world. 

The wearing of orange and flying orange balloons, in connection with the red-headed Ariel and Kfir Bibas, has come to express a shorthand for dealing with the dissonance that comes with trying to process the tragic murder of children. The Bibas family have suffered this along with the atrocity of three generations being murdered. It is impossible to fathom the heartbreak of returned hostage Yarden Bibas, who this week buried his sons and his wife, Shiri, in a grave alongside Shiri’s parents, Yossi and Margit Silberman, who were both murdered on October 7. 

As we have reached the terribly difficult stage of the ceasefire where perished hostages are being returned, the Israeli public is confronted each time with the inexplicable sorrow that comes with confirmation of their deaths. Alongside the Bibas family members, the body of Oded Lifshitz was returned, and just last night, Itzik Elgarat, Ohad Yahalomi, Shlomo Mantzur, and Tsahi Idan were also brought home. The loss of each of these people is a unique tragedy.

Seeing the footage of Israelis coming out in their thousands to honour the returned bodies has been extremely confronting. Alongside the expressions of grief have been cries of “Slicha!” (Sorry!) as some Israelis express their sense of failure at not succeeding to bring the hostages out alive. 

I think that the issue of the hostages affects Israelis in a unique way. I believe that this is because the culture of sacrifice that accompanies the hardships of compulsory military service and the challenge of ongoing security threats is balanced by an inherent societal contract that includes a fundamental principle of leaving no one behind.  

In witnessing the collective reaction of Israelis I am reminded of the Talmudic phrase “Kol yisrael arevim zeh bazeh” (All of Israel is responsible for one another). This is the collectivity that underpins the state. It saw expression in the hordes that queued for hours to donate blood in the aftermath of October 7, it was evident in the retired teachers who dropped everything to support evacuees and now we can witness it in the depths of love and compassion being directed to the bereaved Yarden Bibas and his remaining family.

As we jump back on the emotional rollercoaster and will now doubt continue to experience many more ups and downs, we must continue to demand the release of the remaining 63 hostages. 

May this come soon and may peace be established and sustained.

Shabbat Shalom,
Marc Light